Spiritual Insight from Medical Pathology

Cardiac Tamponade in a very basic sense is when something gets into the pericardial sac that shouldn't be there. It squeezes the heart and prevents it from pumping blood the way it should. The heart cannot expand.

Cardiac tamponade is the same as thorns – the cares of the world.

The heart's job is to receive and give what it receives for the sake of the body.

Since the pericardium's purpose is protection – to protect the heart from pain of friction and to serve as a barrier to bacteria and infection, it would seem like a bigger cushion would be a good thing. More fluid or air = better protection. But this is exactly the opposite of what is true. The pericardium can only function as it's meant to when there is just enough fluid – no more no less. "Give us this day our daily bread."

This is the same perception we have with our physical blessings. Sometimes we think that having more is better because it equals protection – more insurance – protection in case of trouble. But having more in your pericardium – more "cushion" actually inhibits your ability to receive and therefore your ability to give. As a result, the whole body suffers.

How do you fix cardiac tamponade? A surgeon drains the pericardium. How does a rich man enter the kingdom? Goes through the eye of a needle. He loses the extra fluff. The Surgeon strips off the excess. Then the heart finds it can actually receive more and give more – the way it was designed to.

Atherosclerosis

Atherosclerosis is a disease of the great vessels in which there is deposition of calcium and lipids in the intima of the vessel. There is a fibrous plaque that covers it and sometimes this can rupture causing a big problem.

The arteries are communication pathways to supply the body with nutrients and to take away waste.

I feel that atherosclerosis is as gossip and bitterness in churches. It is more likely to occur in places of turbulence – places where the path isn't easy – places where the blood (the resources) must be distributed so that the whole body is fed.

These are places of exaggerated communication and must be on high alert against gossip and personal sensitivity to statements that are made. If a "root of bitterness" is formed because on of the cells takes offense to something, that root will begin to affect all the cells. Not only this, but in order to "not make a big deal" the person may develop a "fibrous cap" and hide that which offended them. This is effective for a little while so that the whole operation can continue without much of a hang-up. But bitterness unaddressed is worse than pausing the operation to deal with it. When it ruptures it runs

the risk of killing everything downstream.

Atherosclerosis can be prevented by making sure not to eat too much fatty food – don't indulge ourselves in the gossip of others. It can also be helped by exercise – by focusing on doing the work of the Lord, the whole body can become more efficient at everything it does. It can handle going into more "gossipy" places to bring the light of Jesus because its metabolism is stronger. If you have been feeding off of gossip for a long time, your metabolism for ministering to gossipers is not very strong and you probably are not called to minister to them. Maybe after your cholesterol has dropped significantly and you've stayed there for a while, then you will have authority to speak against gossip. Lastly, the intima (us as individuals) can do our part by not listening to the gossip. Whether it is about us or someone else… we must not let ourselves to become bitter. We must cast our cares on the Lord and count on Him for our affirmation.

A Prayer for Worship

I include these prayers and snapshots of my relationship with the Lord for no other reason than that 1) you can learn a tremendous amount about a person by the way they pray (so you get to know me better) and 2) maybe by reading my prayers you will be encouraged or built up in your faith. Be blessed!

June 30, 2006

Lord, be blessed by our worship tonight. Anoint us to touch your heart. May the holy and pure praise of your name by your children be so distasteful to any demons or evil strongholds that they have to flee – the walls fall down and we have freedom to call on your name with truly open hearts – hearts longing to be filled with your truth and love. Give us open hearts that give you freedom to move on us in whatever way you want – whatever seems good to your heart. Lord, we don't want to be afraid anymore – we don't want to be afraid of you. We don't understand how it is that you love us like you say you do. We have so many questions. We've been hurt – we've been taken advantage of – by each other – Lord, some of us feel that you took advantage of us and hurt us. Oh how that must hurt your heart. When you gave your son – your only son – Lord your word says that it was your will to crush your son – the only one who loved you – Jesus was the only one who was not selfish unto death – he was the only one who loved you and you were pleased to kill him for me. Oh Lord! You were willing to pay such a great price for me and yet I would question your love for me. Yet I would think you would desire to hurt me. Oh, Father, thank you for your patience with us. Lord, we want to know you. We want to know what's real. We want to trust you. We want to let you love us and lead us through the adventures of this life – as brief as it is. Lord, we want to let you show us the mysteries and secrets of your heart. We want to learn how to love others so much that we don't have to always be looking over our shoulders to see if someone's going to hurt us. I want to trust that you are making me into the man you've called me to be. You're dreams for me are so much better than my own. You're teaching me how to have victory in all things as I learn to rejoice in you and your faithfulness. Pour out reconciliation and forgiveness on us, your Children. Give us humble hearts to encourage and serve and not to point the finger or criticize – teach us how to extract the beautiful from the worthless – just like you do with me. I want to be like you. I want to see my circumstances and others the way you do – through eyes of love and hopefulness and not judgment and insecurity, Lord. I thank you that you've made us a family and that we need each other. I love my brothers and sisters so much. Thank you for loving each of us personally and having special moments with each of us – but thank you for giving us each other that we can sacrifice for each other serve each other. We can practice learning to be like you. We want your life living in us – not just stagnant in our heads – but alive in our hearts – changing our character – transforming us to love fearlessly – to give generously – to forgive unconditionally – to lay down our lives that we might find them completely alive and renewed in you. Lord, we're tired of feeling broken and hopeless – if we're gonna be broken, Lord, let us at least be broken and hopeful – hopeful because of your promises – hopeful because you do not lie – hopeful because your thoughts over us are loving kindness and restoration and redemption. Lord, we're broken, but you told us that if we would just grab your hand you would heal me – you would give me faith – you would give me a reason – you'd give me hope. You said so, Lord. Lord, we're scared. We've never done anything like this before. Some of us are hurting so much that we just want to quit. We can't stay where we are, but we're afraid to follow you. Lord, no more. No more. We're scared. But we're ready. Forgive me for being ashamed of you. I am not ashamed of you. I am no longer going to make you into what I think you are. I'm no longer going to assume that you're like me. If you were like me I would have every reason to be afraid of you. But you're not like me. You are willing to die for your enemies. You are willing to give every crumb of food you have so that you the ones who seek to kill you can live. You are not like me. I will rejoice in you, my Savior. I will sing your praises from the rooftops. I will proclaim your name to the nations. I will lift you up before kings and princes. I will rejoice in you in the midst of pain and suffering. I will call on you in my distress and you will hear me. I will reach for you and you will save me. I will seek you and chase after you with my whole heart and you will let me find you. I will leap from this cliff with nothing but your promise to catch me because your promise is more real, more true, more solid than this ground I'm so afraid to leave. Bless the Lord oh my soul! Bless the Lord.

Truth Telling

I've had it in my mind to write this blog for several months now. The content is derived from assorted experiences in medical school and though I have not formally written on this issue I have had many thoughts and conversations about it and find it very interesting.

Just as Jesus opened our eyes to see that murder is not just killing, but it is also anger toward a brother; and adultery is not simply sexual promiscuity but starts in the eyes - so living a life of honesty - of true truth-telling, is not just not lying or not cheating, but it is much deeper and much more difficult than simply NOT doing something - but intentionally DOING the right thing. Let me explain.

Over the last few months I've learned from myself as well as others that we all say so many things with the intent to manipulate - we victimize ourselves, we seek to illicit pity, we seek illicit praise, we feed our insecurities – and all of this is obvious in the way we talk - in the very words we choose to use.

Jesus said in Matthew 12:34 that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." I confess, the more I pay attention to the words of my mouth, the more I am able to see that there is still definite darkness in my heart. It has been humbling and encouraging – humbling to see how even when I am thinking I'm doing well, there is still more work to be done, and encouraging to know that the Lord is still taking me higher.

So, here are a couple quick examples of the slyness of dishonesty:

Oftentimes, when we are questioned about our priorities, say, someone invites you to a church function or something, we often give a patterned response of "oh, well, I'd like to, but I can't" or "Thanks, but I'm not sure what's going on yet." To say "I can't" is almost never true – because it implies either lack of transportation or something that is physically preventing us from doing it. At least, the more I say "I can't" the more I'm convinced that it's just a lie. Even if it's money or time or transportation, there is almost ALWAYS a way to do something. The real translation of "I can't" is probably more like "It's just not a priority for me." Whatever the potential response, I think it is better to just be honest, than to lie and think that your lie will be received better.

Another example was brought to my attention a couple weeks ago when I continually told a story of an event that I witnessed at the medical office I was working at. I had seen someone do something that offended me and really affected my respect for this person. In spite of the Holy Spirit continually saying, "you should not be telling this story" I did anyway. I later realized that I was telling the story simply because I knew it would get a rise out of others as well. It was an emotionally charged story and people would think that I was a good story teller or that I am special because of my unique insight into medical mishaps. Basically, the Lord showed me that the reason it was so hard for me NOT to tell the story was because I was insecure about people accepting me and I wanted the attention I could get from sharing a story of someone else's error. In essence, I was not covering this person's shame, but exploiting it for my own glory. How horrible is that?!

So, the point of this testimony is to say that telling the truth is not just in the facts that you relay, but in the motivation we have for saying or not saying something. Am I truly guarding my tongue so that everything I say is with a genuine heart of love and compassion, both for my friends AND my enemies? Am I speaking as if I were saying the very words of the Lord?

As it says in James, if anyone can truly control his tongue, he is perfect and able to control the whole body as well. I believe that crucifying our tongues is one of the hardest and yet most profitable things we can ask the Lord to do for us. After all, the Lord spoke and the universe came into being – and we are created in His image. Imagine the authority that the Lord would give to us if we sought with all our hearts to use the power of our words exclusively for the Lord and His Kingdom! There is tremendous power in our words and I believe the Lord really is raising a generation who has such a chokingly tight rein on their tongues that they are completely under the direction of the Spirit. The flesh will have no outlet in our words anymore. Hallelujah!

Lastly, I'm becoming more and more convinced that Jack Nicholson's classic line "You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth!" is quite true of many people – myself included. Since we really have not completely learned to put our faith and trust in God, we end up putting it in man. And since we do not truly know how to live on "every word that comes from God" we live on the words of man. This makes us incredibly vulnerable to man and, consequently, insecure in who we are and God's sovereignty – which then takes away our ability to love with the love of God, and so we end up making judgments that are founded in the wisdom of man and the world, and not the wisdom of God and heaven. We may take offense to simple things that people say to us – even if they are true and spoken from a heart of love.

The conclusion to the matter, then, is that it is of the utmost importance that we take our language seriously – not only for the sake of our relationships with one another, but even more so that we might be trusted with greater anointing and authority from the Lord. We want to honor him in all that we do and say – and it seems the latter may be the more challenging.